One night, after a succession of fevers, while I was in the grips of the flu, I had this extraordinary dream.

Walking through a crowded maze of weird aquariums and tanks of various sorts, inside of what seemed to be an abandoned Wal-Mart, I was accompanied by a nondescript woman who had a pet crab that was scuttling along beside us. I remember looking at the crab several times, because, it appeared to be more like a giant tick than a crab. It had a shiny dark brown chitinous shell, but it did have the characteristic crab claws. So we are strolling through this strange maze of very dirty aquariums with all sorts of strange creatures inside them, weird, fleshy sea creatures and something like sea anemones, only much larger than I've ever seen, all in these very dirty tanks. In fact the entire building was very dirty, the scuffed linoleum floor was crusted brown and littered with debris. The blinking, humming fluorescent lights weren't making things look very clean either. The strange thing was that the 'displays' were all sort of haphazardly arranged, many of them completely opaque, covered with thick green algae, some of them were just outright black. So as we stroll through this strange menagerie of unimaginable creatures, my (real life) albino burmese python slithers out from beneath one of the tanks attacks my companion's crab. The crab's claw snaps off, the snake quickly swallows it, and it slithers away, all within the space of about 3 seconds. Needless to say I was dumbfounded. The girl starts shrieking at me about how the snake has 'killed' her crab. I quickly point out that the crab is still alive and that crabs do actually regenerate lost limbs. This doesn't appease her in the least, obviously. Finally, out of exasperation, I tell her that the only one who could help her now was god.
She says 'fine'. So I start heading towards a service door built into the wall of this strange pet shop. We open this steel door and enter a cinderblock stairwell that descends into a dimly lit subbasement. This is the archetype of all subbasements... the cinderblock walls are swollen with the damp. An amalgam of pipes and tubes and wires line the ceiling. Steam hisses out of vents. Stagnant pools of water gather on the uneven floor. Naked light bulbs provide the sparse illumination, and even most of these were missing or burned out.
Suddenly I noticed another door, a wooden one with a brass handle. I open the door and enter a cramped room filled with strange machinery. The walls are lined with polished wooden pipes and tubes of various widths, each of them fitted with a variety of brass and copper fittings, some of them opening and closing like the valves on a woodwind instrument, others were more gear-like. As I looked around the room, I saw a figure seated in front of what seemed to be the keyboard to a huge pipe organ, extremely complex, with thousands of pulls and keys. He was wearing a green jumpsuit.
I remember it felt very hot, like the machinery was steam driven. There was a great deal of clicking and clacking as the various valves opened and closed, but it was soft, not harsh sounding. I stood for a moment and then the figure swiveled towards us on his stool.
For a moment I was extremely taken aback, because this man, that I immediately knew as God had the face of a chimpanzee. Or perhaps he was a bit more australopithecine. He smiled broadly at us, and immediately I knew that it was true that God created man in his own image. However mankind has evolved, so we no longer look like him. I explained the problem with the 'crab', and God pulled one of the knobs on the pipe organ console, and a weird note sounded, and the crab's claw had grown back.
When I woke up, I was left trying to figure out why the hell I was dreaming about god anyhow, as I am not religious, or christian. I guess I was trying to resolve the evolution versus creation debate once and for all. I personally like monkeys, and have no problem imagining them as our common ancestors.